added public assets, moved data to void-fe, added poems, make the front end parse the poem files at compile time.
This commit is contained in:
parent
cf8fce05e6
commit
202979973f
|
|
@ -1810,6 +1810,40 @@ dependencies = [
|
|||
"uncased",
|
||||
]
|
||||
|
||||
[[package]]
|
||||
name = "rust-embed"
|
||||
version = "6.6.1"
|
||||
source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
|
||||
checksum = "1b68543d5527e158213414a92832d2aab11a84d2571a5eb021ebe22c43aab066"
|
||||
dependencies = [
|
||||
"rust-embed-impl",
|
||||
"rust-embed-utils",
|
||||
"walkdir",
|
||||
]
|
||||
|
||||
[[package]]
|
||||
name = "rust-embed-impl"
|
||||
version = "6.5.0"
|
||||
source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
|
||||
checksum = "4d4e0f0ced47ded9a68374ac145edd65a6c1fa13a96447b873660b2a568a0fd7"
|
||||
dependencies = [
|
||||
"proc-macro2",
|
||||
"quote",
|
||||
"rust-embed-utils",
|
||||
"syn 1.0.109",
|
||||
"walkdir",
|
||||
]
|
||||
|
||||
[[package]]
|
||||
name = "rust-embed-utils"
|
||||
version = "7.5.0"
|
||||
source = "registry+https://github.com/rust-lang/crates.io-index"
|
||||
checksum = "512b0ab6853f7e14e3c8754acb43d6f748bb9ced66aa5915a6553ac8213f7731"
|
||||
dependencies = [
|
||||
"sha2",
|
||||
"walkdir",
|
||||
]
|
||||
|
||||
[[package]]
|
||||
name = "rustc-hash"
|
||||
version = "1.1.0"
|
||||
|
|
@ -2423,7 +2457,9 @@ dependencies = [
|
|||
"dioxus",
|
||||
"dioxus-autofmt",
|
||||
"dioxus-web",
|
||||
"log",
|
||||
"markdown",
|
||||
"rust-embed",
|
||||
"wasm-logger",
|
||||
]
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
@ -15,6 +15,7 @@ rocket = "=0.5.0-rc.3"
|
|||
dioxus = "0.3.2"
|
||||
markdown = "1.0.0-alpha.7"
|
||||
dioxus-ssr = "0.3.0"
|
||||
rust-embed = { version = "6.6.1" }
|
||||
|
||||
[dependencies]
|
||||
void-be = { path = "./void-be" }
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
Binary file not shown.
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
|
|
@ -14,3 +14,8 @@ dioxus-autofmt = "0.3.0"
|
|||
# WebAssembly Debug
|
||||
wasm-logger = "0.2.0"
|
||||
console_error_panic_hook = "0.1.7"
|
||||
log = "0.4.17"
|
||||
|
||||
[dependencies.rust-embed]
|
||||
version = "6.6.1"
|
||||
features = ["debug-embed"]
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
@ -13,3 +13,8 @@ fn main() {
|
|||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
// let mut content = Vec::new();
|
||||
// for f in std::fs::read_dir("../data/poems").unwrap() {
|
||||
// content.push(std::fs::read_to_string(f.unwrap().path()).unwrap());
|
||||
// }
|
||||
// }
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,45 @@
|
|||
# 27
|
||||
|
||||
**27**\
|
||||
*I used to think that day was just a far off dream for me*\
|
||||
*Dreading when I wake because I can't see past next week*\
|
||||
*"What's the point of living if I'm just living a lie?"*\
|
||||
*Those echoes in my memory are far away tonight*
|
||||
|
||||
**27**\
|
||||
*I used to think that I was all alone feeling this pain*\
|
||||
*Using words and writing poems to keep up the pace*\
|
||||
*Whisper reassurances to myself to feel safe*\
|
||||
*Hugging pillows tightly as I'm drifting in this space*
|
||||
|
||||
**27**\
|
||||
*Now the railing that I'm safely behind keeps me sane*\
|
||||
*I'm not quite the black rose that I pricked, but just the same*\
|
||||
*I still can't see past next week, but maybe that's okay*\
|
||||
*Maybe in this case my age was not an early grave*
|
||||
|
||||
**27**\
|
||||
*Now I use a new name and I wear a different face*\
|
||||
*But I'm still the same girl even if I'm less afraid*\
|
||||
*Back then I sat on sidelines to watch everyone else live*\
|
||||
*And now, for once, it's my turn, I've got something new to give*
|
||||
|
||||
**27**\
|
||||
*I don't need to tell myself that I'm not worth living*\
|
||||
*I don't need to hold onto my reassurances*\
|
||||
*I don't need to feel like if I left no one would care*\
|
||||
*I've made it this far and now I'm letting myself live*
|
||||
|
||||
**27**\
|
||||
*I'm doing my best and I know that's all I can do* \
|
||||
*I know it's enough and I know you will see it, too*\
|
||||
*This life is so precious and that's why, now, I can say* \
|
||||
*I'm glad that I know that I'll be turning 28*
|
||||
|
||||
*There's no big ending, no big rhyme to close off this chapter* \
|
||||
*I'm not ending anything with a bang or a whimper* \
|
||||
*Just acknowledging what I've now firmly put behind me*
|
||||
|
||||
This is how it ends \
|
||||
This is how it starts \
|
||||
I deserve it.
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
|
|||
# A Moment's Rest at a Peaceful Shore
|
||||
|
||||
The wind calms, the storm in my mind settles\
|
||||
The static pervading off the edges of my mind's perspective finally begins to focus itself into a clearer darkness
|
||||
|
||||
My thoughts wedge themselves into place\
|
||||
For a brief moment, I am collected, as the fears and insecurities of my life slowly inch themselves further away
|
||||
|
||||
The tide is low, I am standing at the shore\
|
||||
A breeze gently brushes past my skin as I ponder when the wind will pick up again and leave me to brave its harsh gusts
|
||||
|
||||
Evidently, the storm will return\
|
||||
The static will regain its strength, and my thoughts will cloud themselves once more as I attempt to continue forward
|
||||
|
||||
For now, in this moment, I am at peace
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,45 @@
|
|||
# im on repeat
|
||||
|
||||
[Audio reading](https://cloud.werefox.dev/s/dq5ccm5QqmMF4GB)
|
||||
|
||||
Death is like a memory. Ceaseless, and comforting\
|
||||
Knowing things will end has always helped me feel like I'm free\
|
||||
I can do what I want, I can say what I feel\
|
||||
In the end, I know, I know the end is coming, what's the deal?
|
||||
|
||||
I'm looping,\
|
||||
I'm stagnant,\
|
||||
Feel like I'm on repeat\
|
||||
My heart has got a leak
|
||||
|
||||
I'm writing\
|
||||
These lines\
|
||||
About my broken dreams\
|
||||
About my fucking sheets
|
||||
|
||||
I'm hating\
|
||||
my thoughts\
|
||||
About my bad streaks\
|
||||
About my endless sleep
|
||||
|
||||
break free\
|
||||
break free\
|
||||
break free\
|
||||
break free
|
||||
|
||||
And when the thoughts and my memories come flowing through an endless string\
|
||||
I can't stop typing because they never stop they never cease\
|
||||
I'm just a stream of consciousness, typing on a digital sheet\
|
||||
Some lines they'll never read, a face they'll never see\
|
||||
And if this is the end of me then please try to remember me\
|
||||
I'm breaking down, I'm broken, but I'm still here and you're seeing me\
|
||||
Why can't I stop these bad feelings? I know everyone cares for me
|
||||
|
||||
but all I see\
|
||||
when I look at the broken screen\
|
||||
are the fears and insecurities
|
||||
|
||||
I'm nothing\
|
||||
I'm hopeless\
|
||||
I'm looping\
|
||||
I'm on repeat
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,62 @@
|
|||
# Bittersweet, Cheers
|
||||
|
||||
**[Intro]**\
|
||||
*things are gonna change, yeah*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change, yeah*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 1]**\
|
||||
*I try to tell myself I'm happier in place*\
|
||||
*but that's a lie, dear*\
|
||||
*we all know my fears*\
|
||||
*I'm just worried what you think and what you'll say*\
|
||||
*am I talented yet?*\
|
||||
*questions in my own head*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Pre-Chorus]**\
|
||||
*and if my friends and followers know me*\
|
||||
*then they'll know this song before I show them it*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**\
|
||||
*things are gonna change, yeah*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change, yeah*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change*\
|
||||
*another year gone, am I stuck in place?*\
|
||||
*but when I look back I don't recognize my own face*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change, yeah*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change, yeah*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change*\
|
||||
*even for better, for worse, I'm here*\
|
||||
*and my words are echoing clear, my dear*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 2]**\
|
||||
*feels like I can't write a happy poem*\
|
||||
*but what's there to say?*\
|
||||
*not happy everyday*\
|
||||
*and I don't need you to feel sorry for me*\
|
||||
*this one's for my peers*\
|
||||
*bittersweet thoughts, cheers*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Pre-Chorus]**\
|
||||
*and if my friends and followers know me*\
|
||||
*then they'll know this song before I show them it*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**\
|
||||
*things are gonna change, yeah*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change, yeah*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change*\
|
||||
*another year gone, am I stuck in place?*\
|
||||
*but when I look back I don't recognize my own face*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change, yeah*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change, yeah*\
|
||||
*things are gonna change*\
|
||||
*even for better, for worse, I'm here*\
|
||||
*and my words are echoing clear, my dear*
|
||||
|
||||
*another year gone, am I stuck in place?*\
|
||||
*but I don't look back, I just keep my pace*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,60 @@
|
|||
# Black Rose, Gray Skies
|
||||
|
||||
**[Intro]**\
|
||||
Black rose, thorns sharp and trapped inside a clear vessel\
|
||||
Petals falling, won't you please come and save this wilting weed\
|
||||
Slower still, it's a tragic, but slow death inside the glass cage\
|
||||
Seasons change, nights fade and dissipate into similar shades of gray
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**\
|
||||
*On the windowsill, perched and perfectly still*\
|
||||
*I can see the brightest stars in the sky*\
|
||||
*Yes, the wind is still, make a wish, if you will*\
|
||||
*And I will too in hopes that time goes by*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 1]**\
|
||||
*This is*\
|
||||
*Not a cry for help, I don't need my princess Belle*\
|
||||
*I just want to truly be set free*\
|
||||
*I am*\
|
||||
*Trapped in this case, though it's safe, I'm afraid*\
|
||||
*Will I be the rose I see inside?*\
|
||||
*You can*\
|
||||
*Find me up here, perched and perfectly still*\
|
||||
*Kicked my feet and staring up so high*\
|
||||
*Black rose*\
|
||||
*Prick me again, make me bleed, little friend*\
|
||||
*Oh, if only I weren't in my mind*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**\
|
||||
*On the windowsill, perched and perfectly still*\
|
||||
*I can see the brightest stars in the sky*\
|
||||
*Yes, the wind is still, make a wish, if you will*\
|
||||
*And I will too in hopes that time goes by*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 2]**\
|
||||
*I don't*\
|
||||
*Want to be afraid, there's much progress I have made*\
|
||||
*And I'm only getting further, still*\
|
||||
*I am*\
|
||||
*Trapped inside my cage, don't see a way I can escape*\
|
||||
*A cognitive prison, against my will*\
|
||||
*Looking down*\
|
||||
*Will never help, I see my death, my biggest doubts*\
|
||||
*A fall that's deep enough that it would kill*\
|
||||
*So I*\
|
||||
*Keep my head held high, looking up into the sky*\
|
||||
*As the petals wilt onto the 'sill*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**\
|
||||
*On the windowsill, perched and perfectly still*\
|
||||
*I can see the brightest stars in the sky*\
|
||||
*Yes, the wind is still, make a wish, if you will*\
|
||||
*And I will too in hopes that time goes by*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Epilogue]**\
|
||||
I look down at the black rose, the vessel is as glossy and beautiful as the treasure it contains\
|
||||
The stars in the sky look down at me and smile, and I can feel their warm glow from here\
|
||||
If I could be that rose, take it outside its cell and transfuse its radiant beauty\
|
||||
I am a dreamer in the hopes that one day the vessel shatters and I too will be set free\
|
||||
A rose like no other, with thorns trimmed, and petals full as it blooms in the new morning Sun
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
|
|||
# Drop Kicked From Senselessness
|
||||
|
||||
*Soft, muttered frequencies on the periphery of my subconscious*\
|
||||
*A tune I used to hear that flickers its presence*\
|
||||
*Giving me leverage of which to confine myself within the most secluded of spaces*\
|
||||
*That distant melody echoing against the walls of my mind*\
|
||||
*Silent, familiar wavelengths of nothingness that protrude*\
|
||||
*The flooding sensations of lights fluttering among darkness*\
|
||||
**Stop. Stop this.**
|
||||
|
||||
*As the static fades out from its crescendo I am thrust outside those walls again*\
|
||||
*Glimmering bleak reality returning its vibrancy to mock my estate*\
|
||||
*The tempo and pacing and rhythm of the natural beats consume the timeline of my vision*\
|
||||
*Balancing myself and weighing my feet as though I've dropped from a short ledge*\
|
||||
*And that tune that was once so prominent is back in its chambers*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,72 @@
|
|||
# Echoes
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 1]**
|
||||
|
||||
*Echoes*\
|
||||
*Of someone I used to be*\
|
||||
*Though I think I left myself quite far behind*\
|
||||
*Troubles*\
|
||||
*Of my life, they fade away*\
|
||||
*Getting distant as I keep myself on time*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Pre-Chorus]**
|
||||
|
||||
*You can't see me, you can't see me*\
|
||||
*But I'm growing*\
|
||||
*Just believe me, just believe me*\
|
||||
*I can show it*\
|
||||
*I thought I was done with proving*\
|
||||
*Myself worthy*
|
||||
|
||||
*No, I'm not*\
|
||||
*The show goes on, I'm sorry*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**
|
||||
|
||||
*Echoes, echoes, echoes*\
|
||||
*Remind me of a time, my dear*\
|
||||
*When I was once alone beside myself*\
|
||||
*Echoes, echoes, echoes*\
|
||||
*Used to read between the lines to clear*\
|
||||
*Me up on blurry lenses in my mind*
|
||||
|
||||
*Now the echoes fade away*\
|
||||
*And I'm not who I used to be, but that's okay, it fades away some day*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 2]**
|
||||
|
||||
*Pictures*\
|
||||
*Of a thing I used to see*\
|
||||
*Yet I keep it out of focus in the end*\
|
||||
*Memories*\
|
||||
*The scenes of yesterday*\
|
||||
*I'm so happy that I'm not who I was then*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Pre-Chorus]**
|
||||
|
||||
*You can't see me, you can't see me*\
|
||||
*But I'm growing*\
|
||||
*Just believe me, just believe me*\
|
||||
*I can show it*\
|
||||
*I thought I was done with proving*\
|
||||
*Myself worthy*
|
||||
|
||||
*No, I'm not*\
|
||||
*The show goes on, I'm sorry*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**
|
||||
|
||||
*Echoes, echoes, echoes*\
|
||||
*Remind me of a time, my dear*\
|
||||
*When I was once alone beside myself*\
|
||||
*Echoes, echoes, echoes*\
|
||||
*Used to read between the lines to clear*\
|
||||
*Me up on blurry lenses in my mind*
|
||||
|
||||
*Now the echoes fade away*\
|
||||
*And I'm not who I used to be, but that's okay, it fades away some day*
|
||||
|
||||
*Echoes, echoes, echoes*
|
||||
|
||||
*Now the echoes fade away*\
|
||||
*And I'm not who I used to be, but that's okay, it fades away some day*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
|
|||
# Filtered Thoughts
|
||||
|
||||
*Sometimes I wonder if I could write to save my life*\
|
||||
*Sometimes I wonder if all the effort's worth the strife*\
|
||||
*I've been down this road before and now the twists are turns are pleasant*\
|
||||
*Don't get too comfy, though, because I'm throwing another curveball at you*
|
||||
|
||||
*All the rhythms and the sounds and the echoes leave me restless*\
|
||||
*I've been thinking, I've been thinking, I've been thinking of the present*\
|
||||
*Turning circles in my head and now I'm spiraling down under but*\
|
||||
*Don't take me there because Australia's just too many timezones apart*
|
||||
|
||||
*Fuck you, I don't need this judgemental mindless headspace*\
|
||||
*I've been trying to keep up with all the thoughts and it's got me displaced*\
|
||||
*I can feel like I'm alone, but like I'm here, and now it doesn't make sense*\
|
||||
*I wish you could see beyond these filtered thoughts, I'm crying when I'm silent*
|
||||
|
||||
*It might feel like I'm just rambling in the distance*\
|
||||
*It might feel like there's no pattern here and it's all senseless*\
|
||||
*The waves of my mind keep my time and now I'm pondering still*\
|
||||
*Sometimes I wonder if I'm loved for my posts or my personality*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,44 @@
|
|||
# Foxes Are Predators
|
||||
|
||||
*I used to think about the monsters underneath my bed*\
|
||||
*Hiding in the darkness, now they're stuck inside my head*\
|
||||
*Why does everything I write feel like a call for help?*\
|
||||
*Reaching out and seeing that no one knows how to tell*
|
||||
|
||||
*I've become the predator*\
|
||||
*The arrow on your hearts*\
|
||||
*Flailing wildly, spewing toxins*\
|
||||
*That's the hardest part*\
|
||||
*I'm no hunter, I don't bite, I think you might agree*\
|
||||
*Lately I've been seeing there's a deeper side of me*
|
||||
|
||||
*Used to think about the many friendships I had held*\
|
||||
*Keeping people close, wondering if they kept me as well*\
|
||||
*Why does my destructive cycle keep on catching me?*\
|
||||
*Pushing them away and watching how they distance me*
|
||||
|
||||
*I've become the predator*\
|
||||
*The arrow on your hearts*\
|
||||
*Flailing wildly, spewing toxins*\
|
||||
*That's the hardest part*\
|
||||
*I'm no hunter, I don't bite, I think you might agree*\
|
||||
*Lately I've been seeing there's a deeper side of me*
|
||||
|
||||
*Lately I've been seeing there's a deeper side of me*\
|
||||
*Come on, see me closer, and I think you might agree*\
|
||||
*Look into my spiraling and thinking well of me*\
|
||||
*Promise that I'll hurt you, but don't misunderstand me*
|
||||
|
||||
*I don't want to be villainous or toxic at my core*\
|
||||
*I really wish that I could just stop hurting anymore*\
|
||||
*I don't know how to fix this, but I'm trying all my tricks*\
|
||||
*I cannot keep on hurting people, 'cus it makes me sick*
|
||||
|
||||
*I need you to believe me because sometimes I can't see it*\
|
||||
*So please look a little closer and I promise I will be a bit*\
|
||||
*More kind and empathetic and the person that you wanna be*\
|
||||
*Friends with, and maybe partners, maybe that's a little private see*\
|
||||
*I can't tell if I'm spiraling right now my thoughts keep flowing*\
|
||||
*And I don't know if you ever will quite know just what I'm knowing*\
|
||||
*Yeah, so let me finish writing and I'll get back to conspiring*\
|
||||
*How I'll be a better predator for you*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
|
|||
# I can never see past next week
|
||||
|
||||
*A moment of peace in a busy world of busy people*\
|
||||
*Staring out the window, the view of the balcony just blissfully capturing what my heart feels*\
|
||||
*Though the loving embrace of the morning sun shines on me again, I can't help but let those thoughts intrude*\
|
||||
*Still fearing the storm*\
|
||||
*Still waiting for it to show*
|
||||
|
||||
*A path I know I am to travel again and travel fully*\
|
||||
*There is time again until I must stand up and walk this path with ceaseless confidence*\
|
||||
*Whether or not I am a changed woman, the journey continues ever onward toward the horizon*\
|
||||
*Never ending past the hills*\
|
||||
*Never did I quite sit still*
|
||||
|
||||
__Silence__\
|
||||
__Stillness__\
|
||||
__Serenity__
|
||||
|
||||
*Someday, I will make my break upon that path again*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
|
|||
# I Wish I Wore My Garters
|
||||
|
||||
*I hate my bedroom door*\
|
||||
*I have to try a couple times to push it open*\
|
||||
*I hate to feel like I'm confined*\
|
||||
*I have to pee, and now I wanna go outside*\
|
||||
*But I'm still trapped inside my mind*
|
||||
|
||||
*I hate this wooden floor* \
|
||||
*The second floor was just a little too intrusive* \
|
||||
*And every time I have to climb* \
|
||||
*A flight of stairs to get to where I feel I'm fine* \
|
||||
*But I'm still trapped inside my mind*
|
||||
|
||||
*This feels good, yeah, this feels real*\
|
||||
*This feels healthy, so it seems*\
|
||||
*A shot of dopamine has got me wondering if this keeps*\
|
||||
*Circling, winding, aching headaches*\
|
||||
*Swirling thoughts and catching feelings, too* \
|
||||
*I'll see you soon*
|
||||
|
||||
*I hate my ceiling fan* \
|
||||
*I have to keep it on because if not it's too hot* \
|
||||
*But I don't mean that I look nice*\
|
||||
*I have to keep the room from heating up this time*\
|
||||
*But I'm still trapped inside my mind*
|
||||
|
||||
*I hate my bedroom door* \
|
||||
*I have to try a couple times to push it open* \
|
||||
*I hate to feel like I'm confined* \
|
||||
*So many walls and I'm not fine* \
|
||||
*I want to get outside my mind* \
|
||||
*I can't stop thinking every time* \
|
||||
*I don't want thoughts to make me cry*\
|
||||
*I just want to feel satisfied* \
|
||||
*There's just so many times I've tried*\
|
||||
*I hope my partner helps me smile* \
|
||||
*I bet my friends will stay a while*\
|
||||
*But I'm still trapped inside my mind*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,33 @@
|
|||
# Iced Coffee
|
||||
|
||||
[Listen to the song on Soundcloud](https://soundcloud.com/alexis-werefox/iced-coffee/s-5SgBwPrLwyR)
|
||||
|
||||
*Iced coffee on a cold Winter's day* \
|
||||
*Iced coffee bittersweet at the taste* \
|
||||
*Do you see me? I probably fade* \
|
||||
*Fade into darkness and I'll go away*
|
||||
|
||||
Hmm....
|
||||
|
||||
Why can't you see me this mirror is broken \
|
||||
Why can't you see me I can't be this broken \
|
||||
Every line keeping me from satisfaction \
|
||||
I'm wondering why you can keep me in traction \
|
||||
I'm falling I'm sinking this love is a sinkhole \
|
||||
I don't understand why you keep me, this freakshow \
|
||||
I see you and there's so much better contestants \
|
||||
Competing and winning and gaining attention \
|
||||
And I'm consolation, the prize for obsession \
|
||||
Don't know why you'd even give me just a second
|
||||
|
||||
*Iced coffee on a cold Winter's day*\
|
||||
*Iced coffee bittersweet at the taste*\
|
||||
*Do you see me? I probably fade*\
|
||||
*Fade into darkness and I'll go away*
|
||||
|
||||
*Hmmmm....*\
|
||||
*Hmmmm....*\
|
||||
*Hmmmm....* **(it's like... I don't really even know why I bother)**\
|
||||
*Hmmmm....* **(am I even worth paying attention to in the first place?)**\
|
||||
*Hmmmm....*\
|
||||
*Hmmmm....*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
|
|||
# Introductions
|
||||
|
||||
Hi! I'm Alice, and um... Uh.\
|
||||
I have something I wanna say, I guess...
|
||||
|
||||
*Fuck yeah, I'm a trans girl*\
|
||||
*A "fuck the thoughts you had" girl*\
|
||||
*Yeah, I'm a bad bitch and I won't clean up my act, girl*
|
||||
|
||||
Hah
|
||||
|
||||
*I'm a poet and a hot mess*\
|
||||
*Don't wear a fucking suit and tie, I wanna wear cute dress*\
|
||||
**(moan)** *"Yes, ma'am," damn, I bet you wanna date this*\
|
||||
*Well, get in line, sweetie, I'm in high demand, wait list*
|
||||
|
||||
Yeah
|
||||
|
||||
*And I'm impatient*\
|
||||
*Only 3 months, downed the pills, and it leaves me fuckin restless*\
|
||||
*Your heart is on my wish list*\
|
||||
*Got pussy on my mind and not just 'cus I wanna lick clits*
|
||||
|
||||
Damn \
|
||||
Better calm down a bit here \
|
||||
**(Is it hot in here? Or is that just me?)**
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
|
|||
# Missing The Mark
|
||||
|
||||
*Lately I've been thinking 'bout how miserable I've been*\
|
||||
*Sadness never comforts me, but it's been my best friend*\
|
||||
*And I could write more lines 'bout how I wish I could see*\
|
||||
*All the love and friendship all my peers tell me they see*
|
||||
|
||||
*Oh God, I wish*\
|
||||
*I could be happy for myself*\
|
||||
*Oh God, I wish*\
|
||||
*I could be happy for myself*
|
||||
|
||||
*Keeping myself busy so the bad thoughts stay away*\
|
||||
*Telling myself good things so emotions won't go stray*\
|
||||
*Battles, always battles, fight the bad side of my brain*\
|
||||
*No, I'm not alone, but still it sometimes feels that way*
|
||||
|
||||
*Oh God, I wish*\
|
||||
*I could be happy for myself*\
|
||||
*Oh God, I wish*\
|
||||
*I could be happy for myself*\
|
||||
*Oh God, I wish*\
|
||||
*I could be happy for myself*
|
||||
|
||||
**It always seems it should be easier than this**
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,41 @@
|
|||
# Molded Hearts and Melted Love
|
||||
|
||||
*Author’s Note: This song/poem has heavy overtones of relationship abuse. Please be aware of that before you read.*
|
||||
|
||||
I’ve never been the one to think I’m waiting on their time\
|
||||
But days go by I’m wondering if they’re really satisfied\
|
||||
They tell me that that love me, and they’re happy to oblige\
|
||||
But when I ask for more forgiveness, it’s too much, I can’t deny
|
||||
|
||||
I let myself believe that I’m the one who’s done wrong\
|
||||
And I can fix it baby, please, just let me write this little song\
|
||||
All the problems, all the issues, I can change myself you’ll see\
|
||||
I can mold myself so maybe you’ll stop yelling at me, please
|
||||
|
||||
They’re wonderful, they’re pleasant, and I tell them every day\
|
||||
They message me on weekdays, other friends must stay away\
|
||||
When we’re calling every night I hear their voice just start to fade\
|
||||
They’re telling me it’s fine, and yet I know it’s not okay
|
||||
|
||||
I let myself believe that I’m the one who’s done wrong\
|
||||
And I can fix it baby, please, just let me write this little song\
|
||||
All the problems, all the issues, I can change myself you’ll see\
|
||||
I can mold myself so maybe you’ll stop yelling at me, please
|
||||
|
||||
I want them to be happy, I want them to be pleased\
|
||||
Why can’t I just be perfect? I’ll be anything they need\
|
||||
Since when did love become a game of trying to succeed\
|
||||
I hate this, every day I cry, I need to be set free
|
||||
|
||||
(And yet)\
|
||||
I let myself believe that I’m the one who’s done wrong\
|
||||
And I can fix it baby, please, just let me write this little song\
|
||||
All the problems, all the issues, I can change myself you’ll see\
|
||||
I can mold myself so maybe you’ll stop yelling at me, please
|
||||
|
||||
All the problems, all the issues, I can change myself you’ll see\
|
||||
I can mold myself so maybe you’ll stop yelling at me, please
|
||||
|
||||
[Epilogue]
|
||||
|
||||
(I love you, I just want you to love me... No, please, please say something... No don’t leave please just- I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, you’re right.... I’ll stop talking to them... I’m sorry, please... Okay. Yes... Alright... I love you.... Are you okay?... I love you... I’m sorry... I’ll change, please just don’t leave me...)
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
|
|||
# Notification High
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**\
|
||||
*I'm hot, I'm cool, I'm the best you've ever seen*\
|
||||
*not my ego, not a brag, just the facts up on the screen*\
|
||||
*I take selfies cus I'm worth it and you all just need to see*\
|
||||
*click, snap, upload, tap, here come the notifs loud and clear*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 1]**\
|
||||
*I can't help it if you're falling over me (click, snap, upload, tap)*\
|
||||
*though it sure is fun to see your little squeaks (click, snap, upload, tap)*\
|
||||
*judge me perfect, I'm a quirky little freak (click, snap, upload, tap)*\
|
||||
*boost my pictures, tell me sweet words, pray to God that I will see (click, snap upload, tap)*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**\
|
||||
*I'm hot, I'm cool, I'm the best you've ever seen*\
|
||||
*not my ego, not a brag, just the facts up on the screen*\
|
||||
*I take selfies cus I'm worth it and you all just need to see*\
|
||||
*click, snap, upload, tap, here come the notifs loud and clear*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Bridge]**\
|
||||
*click, snap, upload, tap, click, snap, upload, tap* (I sometimes think that I'm too much, it's true)\
|
||||
*click, snap, upload, tap, click, snap, upload, tap* (I sometimes act like I don't have a clue)\
|
||||
*click, snap, upload, tap, click, snap, upload, tap* (I sometimes worry if it is the truth)\
|
||||
*click, snap, upload, tap, click, snap, upload, tap* (All this attention, this attention, this attention, this attention)
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**\
|
||||
*I'm hot, I'm cool, I'm the best you've ever seen*\
|
||||
*not my ego, not a brag, just the facts up on the screen*\
|
||||
*I take selfies cus I'm worth it and you all just need to see*\
|
||||
*click, snap, upload, tap, here come the notifs loud and clear*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
|
|||
# Poetry to the Void
|
||||
|
||||
*Author's note: here's a bit of freeform poetry I wrote a while back that I thought I'd share. I know it doesn't flow super well, but I'm proud of it, and I think it's good sometimes to write stuff that's a bit off beat when it's meaningful to do so*
|
||||
|
||||
Empty hearts and empty sheets \
|
||||
I'm sleeping in my dreams \
|
||||
And I wish I could say they were the same feel that I get when I see your name on my screen \
|
||||
Wish you were in my dreams when I'm fast asleep and I can't control the pace or the scene \
|
||||
But when I wake up it's still a fantasy \
|
||||
I'm alone and unseen \
|
||||
Empty hearts and black dreams \
|
||||
I'm sleeping in my sheets \
|
||||
And I wish that I could say you were here with me when I wake up and hear your name in my mind \
|
||||
Wish you were by my side and held tight and I can't convey how good it feels every time \
|
||||
But when I wake up it's still a fantasy \
|
||||
I'm alone and unseen \
|
||||
Tell me the difference between day dreaming and the way you pass right through my hands when I try to hold you \
|
||||
I'm missing someone I've never felt in the presence of my room or my heart before and I can't explain it, can't convey it \
|
||||
Still just writing lines to a void that comforts me as much as the paper I'd recycle when I'm done bleeding ink on the page
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,46 @@
|
|||
# Probably Bad For You
|
||||
|
||||
*When did all the lights begin to fade away?*\
|
||||
*I see them now, I see them now*\
|
||||
*When did you decide to leave me hurt this way?*\
|
||||
*I'm healing now, won't bleed it out*
|
||||
|
||||
*All the little silly things you said to put me down*\
|
||||
*And all the guilt trips sink into a funnel in the ground and now *\
|
||||
*It's clear I'm not gonna be by your side next year*
|
||||
|
||||
*And now I'm probably bad for you*\
|
||||
*I know I'm kind of a sin to you*\
|
||||
*And maybe I'm still in love with you*\
|
||||
*But I am probably bad for you*
|
||||
|
||||
*So when did you decide what's right from what's wrong?*\
|
||||
*Well, I'll sort it out, I'll sort it out*\
|
||||
*When did you decide I'm not the shining star you sought?*\
|
||||
*I'm shining now, bright through the clouds*
|
||||
|
||||
*All the little silly things you said all those thoughts drown*\
|
||||
*And all the nights I stayed up hoping you would call me out and now*\
|
||||
*It's clear I'm not gonna be by your side next year*
|
||||
|
||||
*And now I'm probably bad for you*\
|
||||
*I know I'm kind of a sin to you*\
|
||||
*And maybe I'm still in love with you*\
|
||||
*But I am probably bad for you*
|
||||
|
||||
*Keep me close, keep me near*\
|
||||
*Tell me things I wanna hear*\
|
||||
*Let me know I'm not too far from home*\
|
||||
*Satisfy me just once more*\
|
||||
*Send excuses to my door*\
|
||||
*And don't forget to post it all, my dear*\
|
||||
*It's clear I'm not gonna be by your side next year*
|
||||
|
||||
*I know I'm probably bad for you*\
|
||||
*I know I'm kind of a sin to you*\
|
||||
*And I don't think I'm in love with you*\
|
||||
*'Cus now I'm definitely bad for you*
|
||||
|
||||
*All the little silly things I did to keep me in your mind*\
|
||||
*And all the times I sat alone at home and wondered why and now*\
|
||||
*It's clear I don't wanna be by your side next year*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,52 @@
|
|||
# Senseless Murmurs of the Estranged (~~The~~ Last Night)
|
||||
|
||||
*Slithering fangs and pointy tails*\
|
||||
*Tell me if I'm not feeling well*\
|
||||
*My mindscape's hazard lights sing symphonies that plead me not to crash*\
|
||||
*Maybe that last line's just a touch-*\
|
||||
*I'm feeling obsessed with feeling up*\
|
||||
*But the rhythm of our continued stumbling keeps me anchored on the act*
|
||||
|
||||
*Maybe I'm not making sense*\
|
||||
*Break it down a little first*
|
||||
|
||||
*Singing out my heartstrings like they never gave a pause*\
|
||||
*I'm writing another washed out drawn out rant recalling how we stalled*\
|
||||
*And you were always the one I asked for in my nighttime bender gleam*\
|
||||
*Separate the colors, strip my words, and paint the walls with apathy*
|
||||
|
||||
*Cold night summer sunsets bail*\
|
||||
*Another take out date night last meal*\
|
||||
*Surrender my senses call my cell and keep my phrases right on track*\
|
||||
*The writing is on the wall tonight*\
|
||||
*Blinding reflections kill my sight*\
|
||||
*A murderous moment of dismemberment from feelings that you lack*
|
||||
|
||||
*Maybe I'm not making sense*\
|
||||
*Break it down a little first*
|
||||
|
||||
*Singing out my heartstrings like they never gave a pause*\
|
||||
*I'm writing another washed out drawn out rant recalling how we stalled*\
|
||||
*And you were always the one I asked for in my nighttime bender gleam*\
|
||||
*Separate the colors, strip my words, and paint the walls with apathy*
|
||||
|
||||
*Call me out on conflict resolution from temptation of my thoughts*\
|
||||
*Shatter the glass and flip the script of all the preface that you wrought*\
|
||||
*I'm not seeing light;*\
|
||||
*this blurry image right;*\
|
||||
*choke my eyes, drain my voice;*\
|
||||
*break my ego, mayday;*\
|
||||
*I'll take solace knowing this will be the last night of this play*\
|
||||
*Where I'm the actor, you're the audience and I'm the one who pays*
|
||||
|
||||
*Maybe I'm not making sense*\
|
||||
*Break it down a little first*
|
||||
|
||||
*Singing out my heartstrings like they never gave a pause*\
|
||||
*I'm writing another washed out drawn out rant recalling how we stalled*\
|
||||
*And I can't stab myself in places that I know I shouldn't keep-*\
|
||||
*Me- I mean you, and this is true, I'm waking from this heavy sleep*\
|
||||
*I'll write my will, I've had my doubts, I'm singing songs, I'm bleeding out*\
|
||||
*Waterfalls perched on the windows of my dreary excess pout*\
|
||||
*And you were always the one I asked for in my nighttime bender gleam*\
|
||||
*Separate the colors, strip my words, and paint the walls with apathy*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,37 @@
|
|||
# She's Not Who She Used To Be
|
||||
|
||||
*She looks in the mirror and likes what she sees*\
|
||||
*It's obvious she's not who she used to be*\
|
||||
*Thought she had her life found out by 14*\
|
||||
*But isn't it easy to think that, it seems*\
|
||||
*Thinking it's over just ain't quite her style*\
|
||||
*"Running, I'm running" she said for a while*\
|
||||
*Run from her problems, run from mistakes*\
|
||||
*Run because she doesn't understand things*
|
||||
|
||||
*She's not a model, she's not a queen*\
|
||||
*Stressed and depressed, she would look up and scream*\
|
||||
*Running in circles, she said she was fine*\
|
||||
*"It'll always be this way" she said with a sigh*\
|
||||
*That's just who she is, and it won't ever change*\
|
||||
*She felt like she'd always be looked at as strange*\
|
||||
*Hiding her gender, hiding her heart*\
|
||||
*Keeping it secret's the easiest part*
|
||||
|
||||
*"I'm fed up, I'm stuck, and I've had enough"*\
|
||||
*She wanted a change, she knew it'd be tough*\
|
||||
*She took a deep breath and decided to try*\
|
||||
*She quit her job, outed herself, and then cried*\
|
||||
*There's no point in trying to live a big lie*\
|
||||
*There's no point in not even trying to try*\
|
||||
*She talked to some friends and she knew what to do*\
|
||||
*"I'll fight for myself, cus it's long overdue"*
|
||||
|
||||
*She looks in the mirror and likes what she sees*\
|
||||
*It's obvious she's not who she used to be*\
|
||||
*The sad, lonely teenager just wanting friends*\
|
||||
*The stressed, upset college kid hiding her dread*\
|
||||
*"I know I'm a girl, and I see it right now"*\
|
||||
*Things line up neatly, and clearer, somehow*\
|
||||
*That's my big story, that's who you see* \
|
||||
*I'm glad that I'm not who I used to be*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,54 @@
|
|||
# Since When Did Winter End
|
||||
|
||||
*I’m a mess*\
|
||||
*A disaster, but I see it in a better light now than I did before*\
|
||||
*I’m a mess*\
|
||||
*But I manage every moment, and I get along well when it’s not as warm*
|
||||
|
||||
*Seasons change, people change*\
|
||||
*I’m not a perfect model*\
|
||||
*I can tell you how to improve*\
|
||||
*While I lament all my struggles*\
|
||||
*Then you’ll see*
|
||||
|
||||
*When Winter ends I think I get*\
|
||||
*A little less upsetting*\
|
||||
*So it seems*
|
||||
|
||||
*Here’s the thing*\
|
||||
*I know it’s not quite summer, but I’ll make believe it’s just as bright outside*\
|
||||
*Here’s the thing*\
|
||||
*You would think it would be better, but predictions haven’t ever been my pride*
|
||||
|
||||
*Seasons change, people change*\
|
||||
*It’s not always the weather*\
|
||||
*I look around at all the leaves*\
|
||||
*And see that change is better*\
|
||||
*It’s insane*
|
||||
|
||||
*When Winter ends I think I get*\
|
||||
*A little less upsetting*\
|
||||
*So it seems*
|
||||
|
||||
*It’s surreal*\
|
||||
*Can’t believe so much has happened, I reminisce and then I wonder if it’s real*\
|
||||
*It’s surreal*\
|
||||
*I know Winter’s fast approaching, I’m prepared and I’m excited now, I feel*
|
||||
|
||||
*Seasons change, people change*\
|
||||
*I can’t believe I’m here now*\
|
||||
*The time goes by and I still*\
|
||||
*Think that yesterday was 1 month*\
|
||||
*I’m impressed*
|
||||
|
||||
*When Winter ends I think I get*\
|
||||
*A little less upsetting*\
|
||||
*So it seems*
|
||||
|
||||
*When Winter ends I think I get*\
|
||||
*A little less upsetting*\
|
||||
*A little less depressing*\
|
||||
*A little less regretting*\
|
||||
*A little less repressing*\
|
||||
*A little less regressing*\
|
||||
*So it seems*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
|
|||
# Support Class
|
||||
|
||||
*Words like knives carving thoughts into the pages of my life*\
|
||||
*Like scattered scraps of paper torn and fluttering in the wind*\
|
||||
*So too am I temporary and fleeting*
|
||||
|
||||
*Like fingers pulling back and tearing at a lockbox of treasures*\
|
||||
*The tendrils scratching and aggressively tugging at my heart*\
|
||||
*It makes me feel wanted*
|
||||
|
||||
*The thoughts and feelings and memories and doting and loving phrases echo in my mind ceaselessly to remind me that I am better and more whole than I was before*\
|
||||
*And when I look up into the stars and see them shining back at me it is a reminder that I am a small and insignificant being, but that I am wanted and loved and cared for all the same*\
|
||||
*And maybe when it's thoughts like this I don't feel so alone and afraid*\
|
||||
*And maybe I can learn for myself to love who I have become again*
|
||||
|
||||
*We fall into these traps like moths and flies sinking deeply*\
|
||||
*Desperately clawing and bemoaning our woes and fears*\
|
||||
*But it's not too late*
|
||||
|
||||
*Fight, bite, bark, and resist the plagues in your own self conscious*\
|
||||
*I am the protagonist of my own hopes, dreams, and desires*\
|
||||
*And you all are my support*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,45 @@
|
|||
# Sweetheart, Sweet Tea
|
||||
|
||||
Do you remember? \
|
||||
The first time that we had met \
|
||||
Oh, I'm sure I don't regret that memory \
|
||||
Do you remember? \
|
||||
It's a story I'll forget \
|
||||
But the resolution finds itself yet
|
||||
|
||||
You said you'd never leave me, hun \
|
||||
Oh, please just don't deceive me, hun \
|
||||
My honeysuckle, lemon sweetener \
|
||||
She won't leave me if I keep her \
|
||||
Close and in my comfort space \
|
||||
I know my heart I can't replace \
|
||||
But if you find the heart to keep me \
|
||||
I know that you'll never leave me
|
||||
|
||||
Do you remember? \
|
||||
It's getting harder to forget \
|
||||
Every memory we make along the way \
|
||||
Do you remember? \
|
||||
The first time I called you "friend"\
|
||||
Oh, the resolution finds itself yet
|
||||
|
||||
You said you'd never leave me, hun \
|
||||
Oh, please just don't deceive me, hun \
|
||||
My honeysuckle, lemon sweetener \
|
||||
She won't leave me if I keep her \
|
||||
Close and in my comfort space \
|
||||
I know my heart I can't replace \
|
||||
But if you find the heart to keep me \
|
||||
I know that you'll never leave me
|
||||
|
||||
Honeysuckle, lemon sweetener \
|
||||
She won't leave me if I keep her \
|
||||
But if you find the heart to keep me \
|
||||
I know that you'll never lead me on
|
||||
|
||||
Do you remember? \
|
||||
Every day I don't regret \
|
||||
Oh, I'm sure I won't forget your simple smile \
|
||||
Do you remember? \
|
||||
Hopefully you're satisfied \
|
||||
Cus the resolution lets me stay a while
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,59 @@
|
|||
# They Said I Could Be Anything When I Grew Up, But I Was Already A Girl (I'm Living Proof)
|
||||
|
||||
*I still can't see past next week\
|
||||
It feels like an eternity and I\
|
||||
Can't keep waiting up\
|
||||
Life's for living 'til we're dead\
|
||||
But I'm not finished writing yet and I\
|
||||
Hope you're keeping up\
|
||||
I can't keep saying "it'll be next year"*
|
||||
|
||||
(I wanna be "me" today)\
|
||||
*Fuck your opinion - I'm not listening\
|
||||
Cause I won't let those words take hold of me\
|
||||
I'm not afraid to be me (fuck, if I'm not a girl, then what gives you the right to tell me)\
|
||||
Fuck your opinion - I'm not listening\
|
||||
Cause I'm done being afraid to reach my peak\
|
||||
I'm not afraid to be me\
|
||||
I'm not afraid to be me*
|
||||
|
||||
*I still can't see past next week\
|
||||
I'd even fear it in my sleep and I\
|
||||
Can't keep waking up\
|
||||
Dreams are meant to be lived out\
|
||||
No, I won't let you shape my doubts and I\
|
||||
Won't stop looking up\
|
||||
I can't keep saying "it'll be next year"*
|
||||
|
||||
(I wanna be "me" today)\
|
||||
*Fuck your opinion - I'm not listening\
|
||||
Cause I won't let those words take hold of me\
|
||||
I'm not afraid to be me (fuck, if I'm not a girl, then what gives you the right to tell me)\
|
||||
Fuck your opinion - I'm not listening\
|
||||
Cause I'm done being afraid to reach my peak\
|
||||
I'm not afraid to be me\
|
||||
I'm not afraid to be me*
|
||||
|
||||
*There's always so damn much to fear\
|
||||
There's always something creeping near\
|
||||
And I can't wait inside my room forever clutching my own sides*
|
||||
|
||||
*There's always someone making fun\
|
||||
There's always some fuck with a gun\
|
||||
But I can't let that stop me living for the first time in my life*
|
||||
|
||||
(I wanna be "me" today)\
|
||||
*Fuck your opinion - I'm not listening\
|
||||
Cause I won't let those words take hold of me\
|
||||
I'm not afraid to be me (fuck, if I'm not a girl, then what gives you the right to tell me)\
|
||||
Fuck your opinion - I'm not listening\
|
||||
Cause I'm done being afraid to reach my peak\
|
||||
I'm not afraid to be me\
|
||||
I'm not afraid to be me*
|
||||
|
||||
(I'm not afraid to be me) *Fuck your gender roles, fuck biology*\
|
||||
(I'm not afraid to be me) *I know that I'm a girl, don't need to "wait and see"*\
|
||||
(I'm not afraid to be me) *'Cause I'm not done yet, I'm just at the start*\
|
||||
(I'm not afraid to be me) *I'll keep on writing 'til I empty out my heart*
|
||||
|
||||
[**Yeah, in case you hadn't noticed, I'm a fucking girl - deal with it.**]
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,54 @@
|
|||
# What do you mean you're not gay, you fucking dated me
|
||||
|
||||
*Waiting on you to blink me to life*\
|
||||
*She said I'm her backup [gal] in the end*\
|
||||
*I've never been one to pull away*\
|
||||
*Say what you like, babe, love drunk in my bed*\
|
||||
*It never seemed like I was worth all the fuss*\
|
||||
*But if you made up your mind, then who could I trust?*
|
||||
|
||||
*I'm wasting my years on you, babe*\
|
||||
*So you can call me your [girl]friend, or friend, anyway*\
|
||||
*It was never like you to change*\
|
||||
*The way that you view my life*\
|
||||
*So fuck off, screw you, I'm fine*
|
||||
|
||||
*I'm just a mess who can't see my fate*\
|
||||
*Tell me again how to better serve you*\
|
||||
*Writing a post to get out my thoughts*\
|
||||
*I'd just be worse off, you told me the truth*\
|
||||
*"I just don't see you as a girl," she would try*\
|
||||
*And now you won't hear me say "this is my damn life"*
|
||||
|
||||
*I'm wasting my years on you, babe*\
|
||||
*So you can call me your [girl]friend, or friend, anyway*\
|
||||
*It was never like you to change*\
|
||||
*The way that you view my life*\
|
||||
*So fuck off, screw you, I'm fine*
|
||||
|
||||
*Tell me I'm not so useful anymore*\
|
||||
*You're moving on, and I'm just a bore*\
|
||||
*Say it to my face with this faded haze*
|
||||
|
||||
**(spoken, ranting, raw)**\
|
||||
Cus let's face it, you wouldn't have the guts to say it sober\
|
||||
I'm worth so much more than you ever made me feel like\
|
||||
And the thought of you ending it on the note of how bad you feel just makes me angrier\
|
||||
It's like you literally never considered my feelings in your own selfish decisions\
|
||||
And then you have the fucking nerve to come to me\
|
||||
Saying shit like "I feel bad that things ended this way"\
|
||||
All while fucking deadnaming me in the process\
|
||||
I'm glad that you gave up on me, because I should have done it sooner\
|
||||
Oh, and that surgery you told me not to pursue because it would make you sad?\
|
||||
Fuck you. I'm getting it. I've needed it. Just leave me the fuck alone\
|
||||
Go back to your sad life with your miserable "career" and choke on it\
|
||||
You couldn't even make enough change to give yourself happiness\
|
||||
Why would I expect you to do so for me?
|
||||
|
||||
*I'm wasting my years on you, babe*\
|
||||
*So you can call me your [girl]friend, or friend, anyway*\
|
||||
*It was never like you to change*\
|
||||
*The way that you view my life*\
|
||||
*So fuck off, screw you, I'm fine*\
|
||||
Fuck off, screw you, I'm fine.
|
||||
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,50 @@
|
|||
# Writing Myself Into My Own Grave (“I’ll never be happy”)
|
||||
|
||||
*You should keep your distance*\
|
||||
*You should never stay*\
|
||||
*You should learn your lesson*\
|
||||
*I’m never okay*\
|
||||
*I’ll always be wanting*\
|
||||
*More than I can say*\
|
||||
*Use your fucking head now*\
|
||||
*And please stay away*\
|
||||
*“I’ll never be happy”*\
|
||||
*That’s the simple phrase*\
|
||||
*Always pushing boundaries*\
|
||||
*Always such a pain*\
|
||||
*Writing lines is hopeless*\
|
||||
*Just pills to help delay*\
|
||||
*You should learn your lesson*\
|
||||
*I’m never okay*
|
||||
|
||||
Mhm mhm.\
|
||||
**(It’s time for a break)**
|
||||
|
||||
*I’m never satisfied, don’t you think that you’d agree?*\
|
||||
*Just a sad, pathetic, hopeless mess with endless strife and grief*\
|
||||
*You can say that I’m perfection, you can tell me that you care*\
|
||||
*You can say I deserve better, now just let me go from there*\
|
||||
*I’m nobody’s posession, no one’s aiming for my pride*\
|
||||
*And deserving better never helped me, I think that’s a lie*\
|
||||
*Now it’s not about attention, and it’s not about my worth*\
|
||||
*It’s not about a partnership I’ll never find on Earth*\
|
||||
*It’s the simple fact I’m broken and I’m tearing at the seams*\
|
||||
*Try to keep myself together helping other people, see?*
|
||||
|
||||
*I worry about people*\
|
||||
*I worry how I’m seen*\
|
||||
*I worry what they think of me when I’m not on their screen*\
|
||||
*I worry if they think of me at all, just the same*\
|
||||
*I wonder if they worry ‘bout me too, when they’re in-game*\
|
||||
*I always seem to focus on if everyone’s alright*\
|
||||
*I always seem to go to bed and wonder through the night*
|
||||
|
||||
*“Are they okay?”*\
|
||||
*“Did they see me?”*\
|
||||
*“Am I helping?”*\
|
||||
*I’m repeating*
|
||||
|
||||
*I go to bed*\
|
||||
*I close my eyes*\
|
||||
*Another day*\
|
||||
*Another night*
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
|
|||
# "You'll Grow Out Of This"
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 1]**
|
||||
|
||||
*I write songs I'll never sing*\
|
||||
*Like I write lines you'll never read*\
|
||||
*And I can't help but be afraid*\
|
||||
*That I can't finish anything*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 2]**
|
||||
|
||||
*My emotions not in check*\
|
||||
*Sorry, did I just say that?*\
|
||||
*I don't know why I am so sad*\
|
||||
*Now I'll cry and say my bad*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Chorus]**
|
||||
|
||||
*This is where I'd make a break, a part of this song to repeat*\
|
||||
*But I don't care what it should say, 'cus I'm already bored, okay?*\
|
||||
*This is where I'd write some lines to keep myself from going on*\
|
||||
*And if I don't then you'll move on because this song is way too long*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 3]**
|
||||
|
||||
*ADHD isn't grand*\
|
||||
*It's more than just attention span*\
|
||||
*I just hope you'll understand*\
|
||||
*That I cannot control my hands*
|
||||
|
||||
**[Verse 4]**
|
||||
|
||||
*I could write more songs I guess*\
|
||||
*Instead of doing all the rest*\
|
||||
*Depends on if I finish this*
|
||||
180
void-fe/dist/assets/dioxus/snippets/dioxus-interpreter-js-1676574062e4c953/inline0.js
vendored
Normal file
180
void-fe/dist/assets/dioxus/snippets/dioxus-interpreter-js-1676574062e4c953/inline0.js
vendored
Normal file
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,180 @@
|
|||
let m,p,ls,lss,sp,d,t,c,s,sl,op,i,e,z,index,value,ns,n,ptr,many,text,event_name,len,root,id,field,bubbles,tmpl_id;const evt = [];const attr = [];const ns_cache = [];
|
||||
class ListenerMap {
|
||||
constructor(root) {
|
||||
// bubbling events can listen at the root element
|
||||
this.global = {};
|
||||
// non bubbling events listen at the element the listener was created at
|
||||
this.local = {};
|
||||
this.root = null;
|
||||
this.handler = null;
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
||||
create(event_name, element, bubbles) {
|
||||
if (bubbles) {
|
||||
if (this.global[event_name] === undefined) {
|
||||
this.global[event_name] = {};
|
||||
this.global[event_name].active = 1;
|
||||
this.root.addEventListener(event_name, this.handler);
|
||||
} else {
|
||||
this.global[event_name].active++;
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
else {
|
||||
const id = element.getAttribute("data-dioxus-id");
|
||||
if (!this.local[id]) {
|
||||
this.local[id] = {};
|
||||
}
|
||||
element.addEventListener(event_name, this.handler);
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
||||
remove(element, event_name, bubbles) {
|
||||
if (bubbles) {
|
||||
this.global[event_name].active--;
|
||||
if (this.global[event_name].active === 0) {
|
||||
this.root.removeEventListener(event_name, this.global[event_name].callback);
|
||||
delete this.global[event_name];
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
else {
|
||||
const id = element.getAttribute("data-dioxus-id");
|
||||
delete this.local[id][event_name];
|
||||
if (this.local[id].length === 0) {
|
||||
delete this.local[id];
|
||||
}
|
||||
element.removeEventListener(event_name, this.handler);
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
||||
removeAllNonBubbling(element) {
|
||||
const id = element.getAttribute("data-dioxus-id");
|
||||
delete this.local[id];
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
function SetAttributeInner(node, field, value, ns) {
|
||||
const name = field;
|
||||
if (ns === "style") {
|
||||
// ????? why do we need to do this
|
||||
if (node.style === undefined) {
|
||||
node.style = {};
|
||||
}
|
||||
node.style[name] = value;
|
||||
} else if (ns !== null && ns !== undefined && ns !== "") {
|
||||
node.setAttributeNS(ns, name, value);
|
||||
} else {
|
||||
switch (name) {
|
||||
case "value":
|
||||
if (value !== node.value) {
|
||||
node.value = value;
|
||||
}
|
||||
break;
|
||||
case "checked":
|
||||
node.checked = value === "true";
|
||||
break;
|
||||
case "selected":
|
||||
node.selected = value === "true";
|
||||
break;
|
||||
case "dangerous_inner_html":
|
||||
node.innerHTML = value;
|
||||
break;
|
||||
default:
|
||||
// https://github.com/facebook/react/blob/8b88ac2592c5f555f315f9440cbb665dd1e7457a/packages/react-dom/src/shared/DOMProperty.js#L352-L364
|
||||
if (value === "false" && bool_attrs.hasOwnProperty(name)) {
|
||||
node.removeAttribute(name);
|
||||
} else {
|
||||
node.setAttribute(name, value);
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
function LoadChild(ptr, len) {
|
||||
// iterate through each number and get that child
|
||||
node = stack[stack.length - 1];
|
||||
ptr_end = ptr + len;
|
||||
for (; ptr < ptr_end; ptr++) {
|
||||
end = m.getUint8(ptr);
|
||||
for (node = node.firstChild; end > 0; end--) {
|
||||
node = node.nextSibling;
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
return node;
|
||||
}
|
||||
const listeners = new ListenerMap();
|
||||
let nodes = [];
|
||||
let stack = [];
|
||||
const templates = {};
|
||||
let node, els, end, ptr_end, k;
|
||||
export function save_template(nodes, tmpl_id) {
|
||||
templates[tmpl_id] = nodes;
|
||||
}
|
||||
export function set_node(id, node) {
|
||||
nodes[id] = node;
|
||||
}
|
||||
export function initilize(root, handler) {
|
||||
listeners.handler = handler;
|
||||
nodes = [root];
|
||||
stack = [root];
|
||||
listeners.root = root;
|
||||
}
|
||||
function AppendChildren(id, many){
|
||||
root = nodes[id];
|
||||
els = stack.splice(stack.length-many);
|
||||
for (k = 0; k < many; k++) {
|
||||
root.appendChild(els[k]);
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
const bool_attrs = {
|
||||
allowfullscreen: true,
|
||||
allowpaymentrequest: true,
|
||||
async: true,
|
||||
autofocus: true,
|
||||
autoplay: true,
|
||||
checked: true,
|
||||
controls: true,
|
||||
default: true,
|
||||
defer: true,
|
||||
disabled: true,
|
||||
formnovalidate: true,
|
||||
hidden: true,
|
||||
ismap: true,
|
||||
itemscope: true,
|
||||
loop: true,
|
||||
multiple: true,
|
||||
muted: true,
|
||||
nomodule: true,
|
||||
novalidate: true,
|
||||
open: true,
|
||||
playsinline: true,
|
||||
readonly: true,
|
||||
required: true,
|
||||
reversed: true,
|
||||
selected: true,
|
||||
truespeed: true,
|
||||
};
|
||||
export function create(r){d=r;c=new TextDecoder('utf-8',{fatal:true})}export function update_memory(r){m=new DataView(r.buffer)}export function set_buffer(b){m=new DataView(b)}export function run(){t=m.getUint8(d,true);if(t&1){ls=m.getUint32(d+1,true)}p=ls;if(t&2){lss=m.getUint32(d+5,true)}if(t&4){sl=m.getUint32(d+9,true);if(t&8){sp=lss;s="";e=sp+(sl/4|0)*4;while(sp<e){t=m.getUint32(sp,true);s+=String.fromCharCode(t&255,(t&65280)>>8,(t&16711680)>>16,t>>24);sp+=4}while(sp<lss+sl){s+=String.fromCharCode(m.getUint8(sp++));}}else{s=c.decode(new DataView(m.buffer,lss,sl))}sp=0}for(;;){op=m.getUint32(p,true);p+=4;z=0;while(z++<4){switch(op&255){case 0:{AppendChildren(root, stack.length-1);}break;case 1:{stack.push(nodes[m.getUint32(p,true)]);}p+=4;break;case 2:id=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;{AppendChildren(id, m.getUint32(p,true));}p+=4;break;case 3:{stack.pop();}break;case 4:id=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;{root = nodes[id]; els = stack.splice(stack.length-m.getUint32(p,true)); if (root.listening) { listeners.removeAllNonBubbling(root); } root.replaceWith(...els);}p+=4;break;case 5:id=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;{nodes[id].after(...stack.splice(stack.length-m.getUint32(p,true)));}p+=4;break;case 6:id=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;{nodes[id].before(...stack.splice(stack.length-m.getUint32(p,true)));}p+=4;break;case 7:{node = nodes[m.getUint32(p,true)]; if (node !== undefined) { if (node.listening) { listeners.removeAllNonBubbling(node); } node.remove(); }}p+=4;break;case 8:{stack.push(document.createTextNode(s.substring(sp,sp+=m.getUint32(p,true))));}p+=4;break;case 9:text=s.substring(sp,sp+=m.getUint32(p,true));p += 4;{node = document.createTextNode(text); nodes[m.getUint32(p,true)] = node; stack.push(node);}p+=4;break;case 10:{node = document.createElement('pre'); node.hidden = true; stack.push(node); nodes[m.getUint32(p,true)] = node;}p+=4;break;case 11:id=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;i=m.getUint32(p,true);if((i&128)!=0){event_name=s.substring(sp,sp+=(i>>>8)&255);evt[i&127]=event_name;}else{event_name=evt[i&127];}node = nodes[id]; if(node.listening){node.listening += 1;}else{node.listening = 1;} node.setAttribute('data-dioxus-id', `${id}`); listeners.create(event_name, node, (i>>>16)&255);p+=3;break;case 12:i=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 3;if((i&128)!=0){event_name=s.substring(sp,sp+=(i>>>8)&255);evt[i&127]=event_name;}else{event_name=evt[i&127];}bubbles=(i>>>16)&255;{node = nodes[m.getUint32(p,true)]; node.listening -= 1; node.removeAttribute('data-dioxus-id'); listeners.remove(node, event_name, bubbles);}p+=4;break;case 13:id=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;{nodes[id].textContent = s.substring(sp,sp+=m.getUint32(p,true));}p+=4;break;case 14:i=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;if((i&128)!=0){ns=s.substring(sp,sp+=(i>>>8)&255);ns_cache[i&127]=ns;}else{ns=ns_cache[i&127];}if((i&8388608)!=0){field=s.substring(sp,sp+=i>>>24);attr[(i>>>16)&127]=field;}else{field=attr[(i>>>16)&127];}id=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;{node = nodes[id]; SetAttributeInner(node, field, s.substring(sp,sp+=m.getUint32(p,true)), ns);}p+=4;break;case 15:i=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;if((i&128)!=0){ns=s.substring(sp,sp+=(i>>>8)&255);ns_cache[i&127]=ns;}else{ns=ns_cache[i&127];}if((i&8388608)!=0){field=s.substring(sp,sp+=i>>>24);attr[(i>>>16)&127]=field;}else{field=attr[(i>>>16)&127];}{name = field;
|
||||
node = nodes[m.getUint32(p,true)];
|
||||
if (ns == "style") {
|
||||
node.style.removeProperty(name);
|
||||
} else if (ns !== null && ns !== undefined && ns !== "") {
|
||||
node.removeAttributeNS(ns, name);
|
||||
} else if (name === "value") {
|
||||
node.value = "";
|
||||
} else if (name === "checked") {
|
||||
node.checked = false;
|
||||
} else if (name === "selected") {
|
||||
node.selected = false;
|
||||
} else if (name === "dangerous_inner_html") {
|
||||
node.innerHTML = "";
|
||||
} else {
|
||||
node.removeAttribute(name);
|
||||
}}p+=4;break;case 16:len=m.getUint8(p,true);p += 1;ptr=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;{nodes[m.getUint32(p,true)] = LoadChild(ptr, len);}p+=4;break;case 17:len=m.getUint8(p,true);p += 1;value=s.substring(sp,sp+=m.getUint32(p,true));p += 4;ptr=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;{
|
||||
node = LoadChild(ptr, len);
|
||||
if (node.nodeType == Node.TEXT_NODE) {
|
||||
node.textContent = value;
|
||||
} else {
|
||||
let text = document.createTextNode(value);
|
||||
node.replaceWith(text);
|
||||
node = text;
|
||||
}
|
||||
nodes[m.getUint32(p,true)] = node;
|
||||
}p+=4;break;case 18:len=m.getUint8(p,true);p += 1;ptr=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;{els = stack.splice(stack.length - m.getUint32(p,true)); node = LoadChild(ptr, len); node.replaceWith(...els);}p+=4;break;case 19:tmpl_id=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;index=m.getUint32(p,true);p += 4;{node = templates[tmpl_id][index].cloneNode(true); nodes[m.getUint32(p,true)] = node; stack.push(node);}p+=4;break;case 20:return true;}op>>>=8;}}}
|
||||
File diff suppressed because it is too large
Load Diff
Binary file not shown.
Binary file not shown.
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,47 @@
|
|||
<!DOCTYPE html>
|
||||
<html>
|
||||
<head>
|
||||
<title>A Letter to the Void</title>
|
||||
<meta content="text/html;charset=utf-8" http-equiv="Content-Type" />
|
||||
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1">
|
||||
<meta charset="UTF-8" />
|
||||
<link rel="stylesheet" href="styles/tailwind.min.css">
|
||||
|
||||
</head>
|
||||
<body>
|
||||
<div id="main"></div>
|
||||
<script type="module">
|
||||
import init from "/./assets/dioxus/void-werefox-cafe.js";
|
||||
init("/./assets/dioxus/void-werefox-cafe_bg.wasm").then(wasm => {
|
||||
if (wasm.__wbindgen_start == undefined) {
|
||||
wasm.main();
|
||||
}
|
||||
});
|
||||
</script>
|
||||
|
||||
</body>
|
||||
</html><script>// Dioxus-CLI
|
||||
// https://github.com/DioxusLabs/cli
|
||||
|
||||
(function () {
|
||||
var protocol = window.location.protocol === 'https:' ? 'wss:' : 'ws:';
|
||||
var url = protocol + '//' + window.location.host + '/_dioxus/ws';
|
||||
var poll_interval = 8080;
|
||||
var reload_upon_connect = () => {
|
||||
window.setTimeout(
|
||||
() => {
|
||||
var ws = new WebSocket(url);
|
||||
ws.onopen = () => window.location.reload();
|
||||
ws.onclose = reload_upon_connect;
|
||||
},
|
||||
poll_interval);
|
||||
};
|
||||
|
||||
var ws = new WebSocket(url);
|
||||
ws.onmessage = (ev) => {
|
||||
if (ev.data == "reload") {
|
||||
window.location.reload();
|
||||
}
|
||||
};
|
||||
ws.onclose = reload_upon_connect;
|
||||
})()</script>
|
||||
File diff suppressed because one or more lines are too long
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,8 @@
|
|||
@tailwind base;
|
||||
@tailwind components;
|
||||
@tailwind utilities;
|
||||
|
||||
@font-face {
|
||||
font-family: "DejaVuSansMono";
|
||||
src: url("/fonts/DejaVuSansMono.ttf");
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
|
@ -0,0 +1,75 @@
|
|||
//! # Rust Letter Frontend
|
||||
//!
|
||||
//! Rendering functions for the site using [Dioxus](https://dioxuslabs.com/).
|
||||
|
||||
#![allow(non_snake_case)]
|
||||
|
||||
/// A module that handles the functions needed
|
||||
/// to render the site.
|
||||
pub mod void_app {
|
||||
use std::borrow::Borrow;
|
||||
|
||||
// import the prelude to get access to the `rsx!` macro and the `Scope` and `Element` types
|
||||
pub use dioxus::prelude::*;
|
||||
use rust_embed::RustEmbed;
|
||||
|
||||
// #[derive(PartialEq, Props)]
|
||||
// pub struct Poems {
|
||||
// pub poems: Vec<String>,
|
||||
// }
|
||||
|
||||
#[derive(PartialEq, Props)]
|
||||
struct PoemContent {
|
||||
content: String,
|
||||
}
|
||||
#[derive(RustEmbed)]
|
||||
#[folder = "data/poems"]
|
||||
pub struct Poems;
|
||||
|
||||
/// Renders the app and returns the rendered Element.
|
||||
pub fn App(cx: Scope) -> Element {
|
||||
cx.render(rsx!(
|
||||
div { class: "min-h-screen font-nerd bg-alice-werefox-grey-light dark:bg-alice-werefox-grey",
|
||||
div { class: "container space-y-4 mx-auto p-4",
|
||||
Poems::iter().map(|p| {
|
||||
let poem_content = Poems::get(&p).expect("Found poem {&p:?}");
|
||||
let poem_to_str = std::str::from_utf8(poem_content.data.as_ref()).expect("Content is valid UT8.");
|
||||
let poem_to_html_string = markdown::to_html(poem_to_str);
|
||||
rsx!{ MakePoem{ content: poem_to_html_string } }
|
||||
})
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
))
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
||||
#[cfg(any(target_family = "unix", target_family = "windows"))]
|
||||
fn RenderPoemElement(cx: Scope<PoemContent>) -> Element {
|
||||
cx.render(rsx!(
|
||||
div { class: "font-nerd flex flex-col space-y-4 mx-4 py-4", "{cx.props.content}" }
|
||||
))
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
||||
#[cfg(target_family = "wasm")]
|
||||
fn RenderPoemElement(cx: Scope<PoemContent>) -> Element {
|
||||
cx.render(rsx!(div {
|
||||
class: "font-nerd flex flex-col space-y-4 mx-4 py-4",
|
||||
dangerous_inner_html: "{cx.props.content}"
|
||||
}))
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
||||
fn MakePoem(cx: Scope<PoemContent>) -> Element {
|
||||
cx.render(rsx!(
|
||||
div { class: "flex-col space-y-4",
|
||||
p { class: "mx-auto max-w-fit flex justify-center bg-alice-werefox-grey-lightest dark:bg-alice-werefox-grey-dark border-4 border-alice-werefox-red-dark dark:border-alice-werefox-red text-alice-werefox-red-dark dark:text-alice-werefox-red-light p-4",
|
||||
"POEM NAME HERE"
|
||||
}
|
||||
details { class: "mx-auto max-w-fit space-y-4 bg-alice-werefox-grey-lightest dark:bg-alice-werefox-grey-dark border-4 border-alice-werefox-red-dark dark:border-alice-werefox-red text-alice-werefox-red-dark dark:text-alice-werefox-red-light p-4",
|
||||
summary { class: "flex justify-center border-4 bg-alice-werefox-grey-lightest dark:bg-alice-werefox-grey-dark border-alice-werefox-red-dark dark:border-alice-werefox-red text-alice-werefox-red-dark dark:text-alice-werefox-red-light p-4",
|
||||
"Open"
|
||||
}
|
||||
RenderPoemElement { content: cx.props.content.clone() }
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
))
|
||||
}
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
|
@ -1,3 +1,17 @@
|
|||
use console_error_panic_hook;
|
||||
use void_fe::void_app;
|
||||
use wasm_logger;
|
||||
|
||||
|
||||
fn main() {
|
||||
println!("Hello, world!");
|
||||
// init debug tool for WebAssembly
|
||||
wasm_logger::init(wasm_logger::Config::default());
|
||||
console_error_panic_hook::set_once();
|
||||
|
||||
// let mut content = Vec::new();
|
||||
// for f in Poems::iter() {
|
||||
// content.push(markdown::to_html(&f));
|
||||
// }
|
||||
|
||||
dioxus_web::launch(void_app::App);
|
||||
}
|
||||
|
|
|
|||
Loading…
Reference in New Issue