2023-12-10 22:49:40 -06:00
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# Dear Diary
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2023-12-10 23:26:10 -06:00
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_I'm not a perfect person, but I'm better than I've been_ \
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_Maybe I'm still trying not to be another sin_ \
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_But I won't hide the issues, put my feelings on display_ \
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_Because the only way I'll grow is if I feel them out someday_
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_It's hard for me to say the things that make me feel ashamed_ \
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_I'll write another poem, hide my feelings on the page_ \
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_And maybe after that someday I won't need therapy_ \
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_So here's to me and here's to you_ \
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_I'm hoping someday I won't hide away the truth_
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_I used to be someone I'm not and hope I disappear_ \
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_I gave up hoping anyone would ever want me here_ \
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_It's so much easier to just sink back inside my clothes_ \
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_Maybe if I wear them dark enough, my silhouette won't show_
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_I'm told that I'm annoying, that I never shut my mouth_ \
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_So I made my own muzzle and affixed it to my snout_ \
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_But every now and then I'd break it off and speak my mind_ \
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_I'd better make a new one, so nobody hears me cry_
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_Got used to shaping myself so I'd finally fit in_ \
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_And every time I'd do it, I could fake a stupid grin_ \
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_I got so good I'd profile every person I had met_ \
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_Speak the words and take the actions that would make them be my friend_
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_Soon enough I'd get so good I'd forget who I am_\
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_And everyone who knew me knew a different kind of mask_
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_Eventually it catches up, the pieces fall apart_ \
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_You stand there and you wonder who you are and where to start_ \
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_The fear sets in and then you start to ponder if it's true_ \
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_Should you be afraid that no one really likes the real you_
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_It's hard for me to say the things that make me feel ashamed_ \
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_I'll write another poem, hide my feelings on the page_ \
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_And maybe after that someday, you'll read between the lines_ \
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_So here's to me, the real me_ \
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_Trying to trust that you'll love who I want to be_
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