info-werefox-cafe/void-fe/data/poems/2023-02-28_what-do-you-mean...

2.2 KiB

What do you mean you're not gay, you fucking dated me

Waiting on you to blink me to life
She said I'm her backup [gal] in the end
I've never been one to pull away
Say what you like, babe, love drunk in my bed
It never seemed like I was worth all the fuss
But if you made up your mind, then who could I trust?

I'm wasting my years on you, babe
So you can call me your [girl]friend, or friend, anyway
It was never like you to change
The way that you view my life
So fuck off, screw you, I'm fine

I'm just a mess who can't see my fate
Tell me again how to better serve you
Writing a post to get out my thoughts
I'd just be worse off, you told me the truth
"I just don't see you as a girl," she would try
And now you won't hear me say "this is my damn life"

I'm wasting my years on you, babe
So you can call me your [girl]friend, or friend, anyway
It was never like you to change
The way that you view my life
So fuck off, screw you, I'm fine

Tell me I'm not so useful anymore
You're moving on, and I'm just a bore
Say it to my face with this faded haze

(spoken, ranting, raw)
Cus let's face it, you wouldn't have the guts to say it sober
I'm worth so much more than you ever made me feel like
And the thought of you ending it on the note of how bad you feel just makes me angrier
It's like you literally never considered my feelings in your own selfish decisions
And then you have the fucking nerve to come to me
Saying shit like "I feel bad that things ended this way"
All while fucking deadnaming me in the process
I'm glad that you gave up on me, because I should have done it sooner
Oh, and that surgery you told me not to pursue because it would make you sad?
Fuck you. I'm getting it. I've needed it. Just leave me the fuck alone
Go back to your sad life with your miserable "career" and choke on it
You couldn't even make enough change to give yourself happiness
Why would I expect you to do so for me?

I'm wasting my years on you, babe
So you can call me your [girl]friend, or friend, anyway
It was never like you to change
The way that you view my life
So fuck off, screw you, I'm fine
Fuck off, screw you, I'm fine.