void-werefox-cafe/void-fe/data/poems/2023-12-09_dear-diary.md
2023-12-11 05:26:10 +00:00

41 lines
1.8 KiB
Markdown

# Dear Diary
_I'm not a perfect person, but I'm better than I've been_ \
_Maybe I'm still trying not to be another sin_ \
_But I won't hide the issues, put my feelings on display_ \
_Because the only way I'll grow is if I feel them out someday_
_It's hard for me to say the things that make me feel ashamed_ \
_I'll write another poem, hide my feelings on the page_ \
_And maybe after that someday I won't need therapy_ \
_So here's to me and here's to you_ \
_I'm hoping someday I won't hide away the truth_
_I used to be someone I'm not and hope I disappear_ \
_I gave up hoping anyone would ever want me here_ \
_It's so much easier to just sink back inside my clothes_ \
_Maybe if I wear them dark enough, my silhouette won't show_
_I'm told that I'm annoying, that I never shut my mouth_ \
_So I made my own muzzle and affixed it to my snout_ \
_But every now and then I'd break it off and speak my mind_ \
_I'd better make a new one, so nobody hears me cry_
_Got used to shaping myself so I'd finally fit in_ \
_And every time I'd do it, I could fake a stupid grin_ \
_I got so good I'd profile every person I had met_ \
_Speak the words and take the actions that would make them be my friend_
_Soon enough I'd get so good I'd forget who I am_\
_And everyone who knew me knew a different kind of mask_
_Eventually it catches up, the pieces fall apart_ \
_You stand there and you wonder who you are and where to start_ \
_The fear sets in and then you start to ponder if it's true_ \
_Should you be afraid that no one really likes the real you_
_It's hard for me to say the things that make me feel ashamed_ \
_I'll write another poem, hide my feelings on the page_ \
_And maybe after that someday, you'll read between the lines_ \
_So here's to me, the real me_ \
_Trying to trust that you'll love who I want to be_